Apparently I’m a realist, it’s nice to finally know that. I guess to an extent I’ve always considered myself to be but was never able to explain why. I’m not the slightest bit religious, I honestly have a hard time understanding why so many people are able to be. That being said I can appreciate what religion has done for people, that is, turn them toward idealism. I think a lot of people end up lost in life, for whatever reason. It could be something as severe as the death of a child or alcoholism to something more common like feeling out of place. Religion can give something to hope for, and aim for, that is idealistic. It also helps people who may be not as good at deciphering good from bad something to base their actions on. They can ask is this the was to reach the ideal. In practicality, idealism makes a lot of sense, it gives us as humans a goal in life, hope that there’s a better thing or place (I use italics because I personally believe that such words in this context are more like ideas than their actual definitions). For me though, I don’t think it’s worth trying to achieve some perfect whatever when there’s so much here – physically or conceivably – that we can appreciate. Idealists, I feel, can get caught up in perfection and fail to appreciate the stuff that isn’t. If you only look for some perfect something you miss out on the beauty of imperfection. I know that sounds pretentious – gee Alyssa, maybe back up your claim instead of trying to sound intellectual. As a realist, this is how I perceive the world.
There is no ideal. That’s the beauty of realism. Perfection is an abstract noun that can never truly be obtained. It is, in its self, a Catch-22. Instead I admire contrast, similar and different, and where they meet in between. When I look at a stranger, I see how we are exactly similar and exactly different. We are the same in that we are both human. We breath oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide, we both use the restroom and need to sleep. Our similarities don’t end in biological factors either. On more than one occasion I’ve looked at my friends and realized [*cough cough* *cue valley girl voice*] “wow we are literally the same person, we’re like so similar. It’s crazy, we’re both into the same things and hold the same beliefs. I’m so glad I met you.” [*cough cough* and we’re back] The people who are important in our lives tend to have very similar mannerisms. My best friend is my best friend because way back in 7th grade we bonded over our shared love of books and shows. Now, even though we’re coasts away (her at home in MA and me down here in VA), we’ve still remained best friends. The similarities we have with people are part of what attracts us to each other.
Now, here’s the counter. We as humans and realists are also attracted to differences. Each person in entirely unique, to each their own. While our functioning as humans remains biologically the same, each person looks different. I have brown hair and my best friend is a blonde, my roommate is from Hong Kong and Asian, I am from the north and super pasty (I glow in the dark, just kidding but still). Humans are both exactly similar and incredibly different. Going back to my best friend, we don’t agree on everything. While we both have the same interest in books and reading, we used to debate each other as to what the best series was (her argument was always the Eragon series by Christopher Paolin while mine was the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson), though there was a sort of conflict it was always fun and entertaining, never ill intended. If it weren’t for that friendly discord and differing opinion we would probably never have become friends. Our similarities and differences are what make humans unique and interesting, we’re drawn to those things. The same goes for people you don’t like, perhaps the reason people don’t get along is because there isn’t enough in common. At the same time maybe that’s also why people don’t click or leave a conversation disinterested in one another. If the similarities or differences aren’t significant enough we fail to expend our energy to further our inquiries in one another.
Ok so that being said I had a couple other thoughts on what we went over. I am someone who loves psychology and my favorite thing (for lack of a better word) in the study is the Myers–Briggs personality test. Before you go crazy screaming (as I imagine anyone who points this out to be), “BUT ALYSSA!!!! IT’S NOT REAL! How can a multiple choice test determine exactly who you are?! There’s no way every person is only one of sixteen personalities! You literally said eveone is so unique”, I’ll stop you and say; I know. You’re not entirely wrong, but you’re also super wrong. First, while people are unique they’re also exactly thee same, as you’ll recall, depending on how you look at things. So yes and no to your point on individuality. Then, I recognize that the test is not an exact science, of course not everyone is going to ascribe exactly to one personality. That doesn’t mean, however, that there isn’t a personality one person ascribes to most. All personalities are base on a foundation and diversity comes thereafter. The Myers–Briggs test is a way of defining those base tendencies each person has. It’s also the case that some types are less likely to be able to accurately be assessed by the test simply because it’s not their personality. There are types for that too. When taking the test people should go with their first instinctive answer, that’s how to take it accurately. So why am I going on such a long tangent about Myers–Briggs? During our idealism vs realism discussion the thought occurred to me; how does personality type fit into your perspective of the ideal? It came to me when thinking about my own beliefs and how it played into typology. I am an INFJ, I’m not going to go into depth on what that means if only because this paragraph and is too long, but I’ll say learning that was my type seriously helped me out of a dark time. Myers-Briggs is a great way give definition to the parts of your personality or who you are that can be confusing (as a side note to my tangent, I really recommend everyone take the test. This is a link to the the best site I’ve found, it’s free and pretty quick. The site is also great at explaining everything.) The Advocate (INFJ) personality types are known to be dreamers, they’re also idealistic. At the same time, Advocates are really good at people. I like to think I take a realist stance on life and it stems from my ability to understand and appreciate people. I know quite a bit about other types but I was thinking it would be incredibly interesting to do a study on how each type and their stances on idealism vs realism. Personality types also had me wondering if other INFJs are different.
My final thought comes from a similar perspective. In class Professor O’Malley made a point of telling us we couldn’t be both idealistic and realistic. Even though I know where I stand I still felt the strong urge to try and counter his point. So I’m gonna make the bold claim and say, INCORRECT! You can be both idealistic and realistic. Argument one, not everything is philosophical. This was a point I wanted to make as soon as he brought up the sunset. I understand why Professor O’Malley pushed us to answer why we thought it was beautiful, I’m glad he did because it was an interesting idea I hadn’t really considered before.However, I do think it’s a fair point to say, a sunset is beautiful just because it is. Not because, we as humans look for a reason, but because the colors look nice. Orange appeals to the eye and when complimented and contrasted with purple, it is gorgeous. Yes, maybe this is some perfect natural law. Yes, maybe this is a glimpse at the eternally out of reach ideal. These are hypotheticals. It’s digging for a meaning when maybe the point of a sunset is just to see the colors.
